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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27449845">why do all the monsters come out at night? why do we sleep where we want to hide?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soggy_peppers/pseuds/soggy_peppers'>soggy_peppers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, First Kiss, Guilt, Killing, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Sleepovers, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:10:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27449845</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soggy_peppers/pseuds/soggy_peppers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>mondo oowada severely fucked up. with nowhere to go and despair creeping up on him, he decides to tell kiyotaka ishimaru how he truly feels, since he knows this will be the last time he can.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>why do all the monsters come out at night? why do we sleep where we want to hide?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mondo Oowada, quite literally, had blood on his hands. The blood of Chihiro Fujisaki, to be exact. He didn't know what happened, really, just that Chihiro was bleeding out on the locker room floor and wasn't fucking moving. He also knew he had a bloody dumbbell in his right hand and that his perfectly white tank top was stained red. Going off of these and the few memories he had before he noticed Chihiro's corpse, he figured he had killed his classmate. This, obviously was a problem.</p><p>First, he had just befriended Kiyotaka Ishimaru and he knew that kid needed him more than anything in this fucked up world. He was attached to the hip with Mondo and he could tell he was the first one to truly listen to and care about Kiyotaka in a while. Mondo was not a good liar, he was almost careless and let minor details slip without thinking of their importance constantly, so there was no way he would live through the next class trial. He couldn't imagine how much that would mess with Kiyotaka. </p><p>Second, he was just starting to be a better person. He was... he was trying for the first time since his brother, Daiya Oowada, died, he was improving. His anxieties – and his anger issues, which were directly related to his major anxiety and trauma – were beginning to lessen. There was no way he could just reverse all that progress, but he had anyway. Sure, he didn't mean to kill Chihiro, he didn't want to, but there was no denying that he was the culprit. So much time spent with Kiyotaka trying to fix himself gone in an instant, all because of some stupid fucking word. </p><p>Mondo sighed, shaking as tears stung his eyes. He knelt next to Chihiro's body. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't want any of this to happen. I wish I could reverse time. You... you deserved none of this shit, Chihiro!" He sobbed, dropping the dumbbell and sobbing into his hands. How could he have fucked up this goddamn bad!? He... took someone's life, he took an innocent person's life! Monster. He was a monster. </p><p>Wiping his eyes, he gently picked up Chihiro's body. His classmate almost looked peaceful like this. He couldn't help the tears from dropping onto the corpse as he stood, walking to the exit of the boy's locker room. He knew this would be a long process, but he wanted to protect Chihiro's secret, the secret that the student was born a man. Mondo knew how it felt to have a secret as monumental as that, he knew Chihiro would've wanted it to be kept top secret, a thing only between the Ultimate Programmer and the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader. Mondo had to make it look like the student was killed in the women's locker room. </p><p>When he reached the door to the girl's locker room, he sat Chihiro's body down and pulled out an E-Handbook from his jacket pocket. It sure as hell wasn't his, it was Sayaka Maizono's, but it would get him where he needed to go. Come to think of it, he hadn't remembered why he even took it in the first place, a lot of the memories before seeing Chihiro's body were a bit fuzzy, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that he could get the corpse in the women's locker room and make it look like the Ultimate Programmer was killed there. He used the E-Handbook to open the door, then sat Chihiro's body down next to the inside of the door. He knew he had more work to do before he could flee from the crime scene. </p><p>After fifteen dreadful minutes, Mondo finally transferred just about everything from one locker room to another. All but... the dumbbell used to murder Chihiro. Shit. He hated the thought of moving that. It... it made something in him hurt, something that he wouldn't dream of talking about. Lifting the dumbbell made him feel strong, and that was bad. Very bad.</p><p>Strong. Strong, strong, strong. Fuck that word, fuck being called strong. That... that word awoke something in him, something he had unintentionally woven into himself; his brother's death. After Daiya died, he was forced to take on the role of the leader of the most infamous biker gang in all of Japan, the Crazy Diamonds. This was good in concept, but, once executed, only made Mondo overwhelmed, hyper-aware of how much he missed Daiya, and inferior. He could never be enough, he could never be Daiya Oowada. He needed to be strong, everyone around him said so. But when your own fucking brother died and you think you're responsible, you can't exactly flip a switch in your brain and make it all better. </p><p>He shut his eyes as he walked out of the men's locker room. If he opened his eyes, he would see the murder weapon, he would see what a monster he was. That would be horrendous. He couldn't imagine what would happen if something or someone set off that little flame in his brain again and made him... well, do what he did to Chihiro. </p><p>Mondo tried not to think about this as he placed the dumbbell next to Chihiro's corpse, which was in the dead center of the room. The blood on the carpet was right next to that. Everything looked perfect. He could leave, he could escape this nightmare, he could escape the pain of remembering what he did to Daiya and Chihiro, if only for a moment. Out of sight, out of mind, right? That's what everyone said, but it was hard for Mondo to think about things that way when the ghosts of his past always came back to haunt with him. </p><p>He stepped out of the locker room for the final time that night. He looked at his shirt and hands. Both were stained with Chihiro's blood. He needed to change and wash up, or he would be fucked. Mondo rummaged through his bag, he must have a spare tank top somewhere. He thought be brought one, but, again, a lot of that night was blurry. Surely enough, he found one after a minute or two of searching his bag. He tossed off his bloody tank top and stuffed in his bag, shoving the clean one on. He remembered to take his jacket off before going to the gym, so he threw that on as well before dipping his hands in the water of the pool that connected the two locker rooms, grabbing the bag and running out of the room. </p><p>Where would he go next? He didn't want to go to his own room, he didn't know if he even could if he wanted to. He accidentally broke his own E-Handbook after going to the sauna with Kiyotaka earlier that day. So, the question was not where would he go, but where could he go. He couldn't sleep in the hallway or anything like that, the rules stated that that was prohibited and there was no way Kiyotaka would let him hear the end of it if he found his only friend sleeping in the middle of the hallway.</p><p>Wait, wait, wait; maybe Kiyotaka was the answer to this problem! Surely, the Ultimate Moral Compass would let him spend the night, especially considering how close they are. Plus, Mondo felt as if he had to talk to Kiyotaka before everyone found Chihiro's body and the trial. It was late, but he had no other time. Sure, Kiyotaka would chew him out for being awake and out of his room past curfew, but he could handle the Ultimate Moral Compass scolding him for a few minutes before giving in and letting him stay the night. </p><p>So, Mondo began walking to his friend's room. As he walked, he tried not looking at his own dorm or Chihiro's dorm. That would just hurt him too much and he might... kill Kiyotaka too, which he never would've forgiven himself for. It was hard enough trying to forgive himself for all of the terrible shit he's done, if he killed his best friend, he didn't know what he would do with himself. He just might die. </p><p>Taking a deep breath, Mondo rose his hand to the door and knocked. Once, twice, three times. He shook as he waited for an answer. His anxieties were starting to get to him again, but he knew all of them would melt away when he saw Kiyotaka's face. There was something so comforting about his presence, maybe that was why Mondo chose to go to his dorm room instead of Makoto Naegi's or anyone else's, for that matter. </p><p>It did not take long for Mondo to get a response. "Huh...? Oh!" Kiyotaka's expression shifted from tired to surprised, but not upset, in an instant. "Mondo, hello! What are you doing up, bro? It's way past curfew!"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, I know. Listen, I got locked out of my dorm for the night and I... need a place to sleep. Would it be okay for me to spend the night here?" Mondo asked. Part of him felt bad for not telling Kiyotaka the full truth, but he reasoned with it, saying that he's not completely lying! That was what mattered, right? The Ultimate Biker Gang Leader was sure the man standing in front of him would agree, but that was far from the truth. Mondo knew this, he had been around Kiyotaka long enough to figure out that he values morals and, as a result, the truth more than anything else, so, even though Mondo was not fully lying, he knew his friend would disapprove of hiding the truth... even if the truth would destroy him. </p><p>Kiyotaka smiled and moved aside, allowing Mondo to come in. "How did you manage to get locked out of your dorm? It's rather hard to do that, you know!" Dammit, it was like Kiyotaka knew something was up with Mondo... or maybe that was just another instance of his poor social skills and lack of being able to "read the room," as some put it. The Ultimate Biker Gang Leader cursed himself for being so paranoid, especially about his beat goddamn friend! This was the one person he felt safe and comfortable around since Daiya died, no way he was gonna let his own stupid fears and insecurities get in the way of this bond. </p><p>"It's... a long fuckin' story. I don't think I have time to tell the whole story, but I lost it like the idiot I am–"</p><p>"Hey! Bro, don't speak so poorly of yourself! We were working on this, remember? You are far too harsh on yourself! All you did was lose an E-Handbook, it's not like you... killed someone or something. I'm sure we can find it tomorrow, bro! Now, c'mon, let's try to sleep."</p><p>Mondo nodded, sitting on Kiyotaka's bed. Though he was trying to be there psychically, he was lost in thought. He had so much to say to Kiyotaka, but so little time. He wished he could just tell him how much he meant to him, but he didn't know how. </p><p>A hand on his shoulder snapped Mondo out of his head. "Bro? You look like something's on your mind, is everything okay?" Kiyotaka asked, taking a seat next to his friend.</p><p>The Ultimate Biker Gang Leader looked at the man that was sitting beside him. If he wanted to let Kiyotaka know how he felt about him, he better let it out now. He had less than a day to spend with him and he knew most of it would be wasted at the goddamn class trial that would ultimately end in Mondo's demise. There was truly no time better than the present. Mondo's gaze shifted to Kiyotaka's red, intense eyes to his lips, which had never looked so soft. He swallowed hard, then gently cupped the Ultimate Moral Compass' cheek. He shut his eyes – Kiyotaka mimicked him – and leaned in, closing the gap between their lips. </p><p>Seconds that felt like heaven flew by quickly and, before either of them even processed what happened, they broke apart from the kiss. "I'm sorry, I didn't even ask if you–"</p><p>"It's fine, Mondo! I don't mind at all. In fact, it was... very, very enjoyable!" Kiyotaka interrupted, flashing that damned smile again. Mondo felt his cheeks grow hot and his heart skipping a beat. He seriously just kissed Kiyotaka motherfucking Ishimaru and neither of them had a problem with it. If only he had more time to spend with the Ultimate Moral Compass. He felt fucking stupid for not even thinking about Kiyotaka when he killed Chihiro, but he knew he didn't think about anything but the words the Ultim Programmer said – specifically the word "strong." </p><p>"Kiyotaka, can I be honest with you?" Mondo asked. The man with the red eyes nodded and looked his best friend directly in the eyes. "When – no, no, if – I die before you do, I want you to go on without me, got it? You've helped me more than you'll ever fuckin' know, I want you to do the same for many others. If you live longer than me, stay... stay... stay strong. For me, please."</p><p>Tears stung the Ultimate Moral Compass' piercing red eyes. He shut them quickly and looked away, but didn't wipe them away as they fell. "Th-thank you, bro. I believe both of us will get out of here alive, so I shouldn't have to worry, but if for some reason you do die, I will hold out... for you. If someone kills you, there's no way I'll let them get away with it! I'll stay alive to avenge you!"</p><p>Kiyotaka smiled. He hated thinking about the possibility of his only friend dying, but he figured it would be impossible. There was no way Mondo would kill anyone, right? Yes, he must have been right! Mondo was his best friend, people Kiyotaka befriends don't just kill people! And no one would dare mess with Mondo Oowada, so there truly was no need to worry... right? Mondo and Kiyotaka would live forever, right?</p><p>"I'm sorry to cut our conversation short," Mondo said, breaking an uncomfortable silence that had surrounded him, "but I'm way too fuckin' tired to stay up any longer. I gotta go to sleep or I'll skip breakfast and I know how seriously you take breakfast!" Kiyotaka agreed, saying he was tired as well. Without saying another word, the two climbed into Kiyotaka's bed, covering themselves in the too-thin sheet that was spread across the bed. </p><p>"Mondo?"</p><p>"Mhm?"</p><p>"I love you"</p><p>"I love you too, see you in the mornin'"</p><p>"Thank you for the advice, Mondo. We're gonna get out of here together, so I don't think I'll need it, but thank you anyway! Goodnight!"</p><p>"...You hold onto that dream, Kiyotaka. 'Night."</p>
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